*googles ‘shirtless Chris Pratt’ to keep from crying*
I’m watching Cosmos right now and there was a commercial for this show I Want To Marry Harry, and the pretense basically seemed to be “let’s take girls that society sees as ‘stupid’ and then lie to and emotionally manipulate them for a bit and crush their dreams at the end.” Really the whole point was to mock these women. I’m fucking over it and not even surprised.
What I hate most about myself (and I hate a lot about myself) is that I have an awful jealous and bitter heart. I guess it’s not really my heart, but when I was young my mother always told me my heart was “hardened from bitterness” so I’ve always thought it’s my heart that holds these heavy feelings. It’s a Cal Trask type of darkness that I really can’t explain. I have a hard time feeling happy for people who get what I want, even if they are people I love and want good things for. I don’t think I’m a very strong person, I can’t roll with the punches and take jokes lightly, I unravel at the slightest push and drown in seas of bitterness and jealousy. I don’t think I’m a good person either.
Finally caught up with Game of Thrones 🙀